What is domestic violence?

Domestic Violence is a method of control. It may include physical, emotional, sexual and/or economic. Women who are abused physically are often isolated (physically and emotionally). Their partners tend to control their lives to a great extent as well as verbally degrade them.
Physical abuse includes, but is not limited to:
Hair pulling, biting, shaking, pushing, pinching, choking, kicking, confinement, slapping, hitting, punching, using weapons, and depriving her of food or sleep.

Sexual abuse includes, but not limited to:
forced intercourse, including oral, vaginal, or anal sex, unwanted sexual touching in public or in private, forcing her to view pornographic images, forcing her to have sex with others, nudity, or forcing her out into public inappropriately dressed. 

Emotional abuse includes, but is not limited to:
Insulting her in public or in private 
Putting down her friends and family 
Making her feel bad about herself 
Calling her namesm 
Making her think she's crazy 
Playing mind games 
Humiliating her 
Making her feel guilty 
Using Male Privilege; acting like "Master of the Castle" 
Treating her like a servant 
Making all the big decisions 
Being the one to define men's and women's roles.

Economic abuse includes, but is not limited to:
Preventing her from getting or keeping a job 
Making her ask for money 
Giving her an allowance 
Taking her money 
Not letting her know about or have access to family income 
Not allowing her a voice in important financial decisions 
Demanding exclusive control over household finances.

Threats include:
Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her 
Threatening to leave her, or to commit suicide 
Threatening to report her to welfare 
Making her drop charges 
Making her do illegal things.

Intimidation: 
Making her afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions 
Throwing or smashing things, destroying property 
Abusing pets 
Dangerous driving 
Displaying weapons.

Using children:
Making her feel guilty about the children 
Using the children to relay messages 
Using visitation to harass her 
Threatening to take the children away.

Isolation:
Controlling what she does, who she sees, what she reads, & where she goes 
Limiting her outside involvement 
Refusing to let her learn to drive, go to school, or get a job 
Not allowing her to freely use the car or the telephone.

Jealousy and blame to justify actions.
Minimizing, Denying, Blaming 
Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously 
Checking up on where she's been or who she's talked to 
Accusing her of infidelity 
Saying the abuse didn't happen 
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior 
Saying she caused it.

If you are being abuse or someone you know is being abused call the National Domestic Violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233