My younger son

This blog is making my youngest son angry. He is using my grandson against me (telling me if I continue to tell about it, I will never see my grandson.). He is also writing me, making false accusations of abuse. Nothing true. He claims again that his father never abused me. If it never happened, then why are there police and medical records that substantiate my claims? Does he want me to send him copies?
I pray for him, and hope he will get the help he needs, because he is in serious danger of also being an abuser.
He was 14 the first time he hit me. I admit when he did I lost my temper and slapped him, then screamed at him, telling him he was not going to be hitting me. Several more times as he was growing up, he would threaten me, push me, and call me names. Each time I would react against it. There were times he would push me, then go to his room. I would follow him in there, refusing to allow him to be violent against me, without me letting him know it was wrong.
It seemed like when he was a teen, every time his father got mad at him, then my son would turn it on me. His father would throw my son's things out into the yard, break his things (remember the cell phones?). I would stand up for my son against his father to prevent my ex from attacking my son.
I am not perfect, never claimed to be. I think now, I did my children no favors by protecting them. 
I know I should have left, no excuses. I will say that by the time I was financially able to do so, my self-esteem was to the point where I wasn't able to do so. This is common among survivors of domestic violence. 
It has been 4 years since I left my abuser, after 20+ years of abuse. I am now able to start speaking out about it, after years of counseling. 
So I say to my angry younger son, deal with it, accept it, grow up, get the help you need, I am not going to stop.
I will continue to pray for you, your girlfriend, and my grandson.
 
If you feel you are being abused or know someone who is being abused call the National Domestic Violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233