The Olden Days?

When my younger son was 6 months old, after my second beating, my abuser decided we would move. We moved to a mobile home on five acres, located about 2 miles from a very small community. I knew no one, and was very isolated. Although we had electricity, propane and a phone, we did not have water or hookups to a sewer or septic system. Jeff promised within two weeks it would be hooked up. In the meantime we could haul water and use an outdoor privy. After 3 months of this, I asked when we would get the water and septic system set up, Jeff told me that I could deal with it and stop nagging him. I dropped the subject.

That evening, after putting the baby to bed, Jeff decided to bring the subject up again. He told me that in the "olden days" that there weren't all the modern things and people were much happier. I didn't argue with him, but was unsure where this conversation was headed. He then told me the subject was closed and to not bring it up again.

Two weeks later, Jeff came home from work, walked up to me, then without saying anything he slapped me. I was holding the baby and struggled to not drop him. I sat down and put the baby down. He was 9 1/2 months old and crawling well.  I told him to go play with his toys, which he did. Jeff stood there and said nothing. Once the baby had crawled away, he told me to get my lazy "a$$" off the floor. I stood up, and he proceeded to hit, slap, and kick me. I screamed, asking him why he was hitting me. When I screamed it made the baby cry, so I tried very hard to not make any noise. I cried though because it HURT!!! 

Jeff never said anything while he hit me. When I was finally no longer able to stand. He said that he knew I was going to bring up the subject of the water again and he wanted me to know that he expected to be obeyed when he said a subject was closed. I tried to think back to something I had said that might make him think I was going to bring the subject up, but the only thing I could remember was mentioning that morning that we would need to get more water the next day because we only had 10 gallons left. 

When Jeff was finished, he went and sat down on the couch. The baby was crying and went to his dad and tried to climb into his lap. Jeff pushed the baby out of his lap, onto the floor, then laughed at him, telling him he was clumsy. The baby started crying, I called the baby and he came to me. I held him, cuddling him, reassuring him until he calmed down.

As is typical of abusers, Jeff kept me isolated. I had no friends, and had lost almost all contact with my family. He also used any excuse to beat me. He claimed his "right" as "King of the Castle" to have his demands accepted unconditionally. Any type of disagreement could, and often did result in a beating. 

 If you feel you are being abused or know someone who is being abused call the National Domestic Violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233.