The arrest

We were living in Arkansas in a trailer park. My younger son was 11, my daughter was in first grade. I didn't work outside the home, because Jeff said that my place was at home. He worked at night and slept all day. After taking the children to the school bus, I was not allowed to make any noise. If I woke him up, he would yell and slap me. Often times I would sneak out of the house and visit with a woman who lived in the park. She was the first friend I had had in about 10 years. Jeff did not know I had a friend.
One day, I dropped some dishes and woke him. He came out of the bedroom in a mood. I apologized, but it wasn't enough. He started hitting me and calling me names. He yelled that I was an ungrateful bi..h. After a few minutes he seemed to calm down, got himself a beer and went into the front room.
I went into the bathroom to urinate. As I was sitting there, he slammed the door open, came in, then I saw him swing a large yellow flashlight at my head. 
I do not know how much longer it was, but I next remember being outside, confused, at first not knowing who or where I was. My friend was holding me and crying my name. I sat down, and after a short time, I came back to my senses. She asked me what happened and I told her. I also told her I didn't remember anything after Jeff had swung the flashlight at me. She told me she was going to call the police. I begged her not to. We both then walked up to the school bus stop, as it was close to time for the children to arrive.
I walked my children home, helped them with homework, fixed supper, without mentioning what their Dad had done. After supper, Jeff decided he didn't want to go to work, he wanted to stay home and drink. I sat in the floor with my daughter playing with building blocks and a wooden train she had. My younger son played with a video game. When it was time for the children to go to bed, Jeff told me to let them stay up for a while. I was sarcastic in my response of "yea, let them stay up all night, miss school tomorrow too, right?" 
Wrong comment, Jeff jumped up and started hitting me and yelling. I ran outside to get away from him. He followed me and continued hitting me. Then I saw red and blue lights. My friend had reported to the police what had happened earlier, and as soon as I ran into the yard, she called them again.
Jeff was arrested. He spent two days in jail before his mother bailed him out. I had a restraining order taken out on him. I tried to find a job, tried to get welfare, anything so I could pay the rent and keep food on the table. I was turned down for welfare because Jeff had a job, even though he wasn't living with us, his income made us ineligible, because we were still married. We lived 15 miles from town, no bus came near, and I had no transportation. A job seemed a remote possibility, even though I wanted one.
A month later, an apologetic Jeff moved back in. I felt it was that or me and my kids would have been homeless. 
And yes, Jeff was convicted of spousal abuse, placed on probation, and has a record for it. If anyone wants to see the records, contact me and I will be glad to tell you how to get copies.

Abusers keep control through financial dependance.

If you feel you are being abused or know someone who is being abused call the National Domestic Violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233