Domestic violence does not occur because the woman instigates it. Abuse occurs because of witnessed abusive behavior in childhood. The father is notably strict. The mother is inconsistent and cautious in order to pacify the father’s brutal and violent behavior. Women sometimes learn to appease the male’s behavior because of early conditioning in childhood where women are taught by their mother to smooth over tense situations in the home.
The abuser:
Ridicules and insults women as a group
Ridicules beliefs, race, and religion
Withholds affection, approval, and appreciation
Constantly criticizes through name-calling and shouting
Humiliates the victim in public
Refuses to socialize
Controls all money and decisions
Refuses to work
Takes the keys from the victim
Threatens harm and abandonment
Threatens to kidnap children
Manipulates and lies
Destroys furniture
Punches holes in walls and breaks appliance
Tortures animals and kills pets
Uses weapons and guns to threaten
Violence and abuse are never excuses for administering harm on another individual. Women that become victims from the trauma of the abuse are at risk not only for serious developing psychological complications but more importantly, their lives.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) estimated the following data:
A woman is beaten every 18 seconds
21% of all women that enter emergency rooms have been abused
39% of all women that are murdered, are murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or ex-partners
50% of African American women suicides are due to battering
“Women living in violent relationships pay a heavy price with their physical and mental health and sometimes even their lives"
If you feel you are being abused or know someone who is being abused call the National Domestic Violence hotline. 1-800-799-7233.
Credit to:
Battered Women
Understanding Domestic Violence
By Candy Brown
December 9, 2007
Located at:
http://www.suite101.com/content/battered-women-a37486
According to your "research" only women are abused. There are cases where women are the abusers. Manipulation and harrassment aren't too good either are they? You have a good point, but some of your stories are kind of ridiculous. I saw where you are thinking about writing a book, consider me a critic. I read a lot, and if you plan on putting some of these stories in the book, you most likely won't get published.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. I do hope you will continue to read it, and to accept the tragic facts about domestic violence.
ReplyDeleteActually if you read all my blogs, you will see where I have stated several times that abusers can also be women. In most cases the abuser is male, but in 7-10% of domestic violence cases the abuser is a woman. Abuse also happens in same sex relationships. Any abuse in a domestic situation is unacceptable, whether it is perpetuated by a man or a woman.
Manipulation and harassment? Do you feel that is what I am doing? Perhaps, however I initiate no contact, carefully make sure that other than using my abusers first name, that there are no identifying names or places. As for the blog about informing a woman dating my abuser knowing about the abuse he put me through, wouldn't you like to know if you are dating a dangerous person?
Perhaps the stories are ridiculous, however they are true. Many of them I have documentation available. However I am not going to post it in a public forum. Contact me other than as an anonymous person, and I will provide a location for it.
Perhaps I will never be published, but then that isn't the ultimate goal, now is it? I am trying to work through sone of the terrible things that happened to me during the 21 years I spent with my abuser (1985-2006). The ultimate purpose is to let people know that these things do happen. That domestic Violence is very real and that there are millions of people (men and women) going through things very similar to what I have gone through.